Friday :: Dec 5, 2003

I Ar Ejimakadid! Looc Wat I Kin Dood Wit It!


by pessimist

The Internet is such a wonderful cyberplace! So full of erudition and knowledge. So full of things that engender excitement and wonder! And so full of childish moronity.

Before I get into what I mean by this statement, allow me to provide a bit of background, courtesy of Pandagon:

This has been the year of the campus conservative...in much the same way it's been the year of the Milwaukee Brewer. Whiny, loud, and shameless, they've managed to start pushes at several colleges per year to complain their way into prominence.

Ten rules to being a campus conservative:

01.) Complain how you're shut out of every forum on campus by going to every forum on campus and using it to complain, prominently.

02.) Complain about how your professors are liberal, even though they grade your work fairly and accurately.

03.) Complain about the use of academic "buzzwords" in course descriptions without having actually taken the course.

04.) Complain about how much everyone else is complaining about your complaining.

05.) Complain about how nobody debates any ideas while strictly limiting your debate to telling everyone else that their ideas are horrible and shut out the ideas you can't actually elucidate.

06.) Complain about how the cable system doesn't carry Fox News, and complain when you get it but someone else signed up to watch Monday Night Football.

07.) Complain about campus oppression, and then inaccurately throw activist buzzwords at every liberal you can find.

08.) Complain about how you can't get spaces or funds to bring conservative speakers to campus to complain about the lack of conservative ideas on campus, ignoring that the space you wanted was taken months in advance by other groups.

09.) Take Econ 101. Complain about everything in barely informed economic terms.

10.) Complain about every stupid thing done on campus in terms of liberalism, no matter how apolitical it is. Bonus points if you can blame oversleeping for your 8:30 class on Paul Krugman.

See how easy it is? And it takes advantage of the natural talent that every collegian has, regardless of race, creed, income level or background: bitching about shit.

I think the saddest part about the rise of campus conservatism is that it shows you can master mediagenic conservatism by the time you're 18, with no real loss in shrillness or intellectual rigor. The half-life of angry, reactionary politics with no real point is apparently limitless.

Over at Penn State University, this is being demonstrated. Thanks to an "overly-sensitive and politically correct" college administration, some "stalwart citizens" are being "persecuted" for "expressing themselves" at a Halloween party. This would not be a big deal, but they had photos of the event posted on a web site.

Penn State University: a wonderful place! So full of erudition and knowledge. So full of things that engender excitement and wonder! And so full of childish moronity.

Twelve members of the Penn State University chapter of College Republicans managed to provide all the moronity:

Pictures lead to call for resignations

Pictures posted on the personal Web site of College Republicans chair Brian Battaglia spurred a strong response from student groups and university officials yesterday, with some calling for his resignation.

The photographs, taken at a private Halloween party at Battaglia's apartment, show multiple students in what Battaglia called "controversial or politically charged costumes," which included portrayals of Undergraduate Student Government (USG) Vice President Takkeem Morgan, an "oversodomized frat pledge," "sorostitutes," a "liberal hippie" and a member of the Ku Klux Klan.

University spokesman Bill Mahon sent a statement to Battaglia yesterday, calling for an official apology from him and others in the organization. "I know most people will not interpret the racist actions of a dozen College Republicans as symptomatic of a bigger problem with the 83,000 students at Penn State, but the actions of your organization are in fact an embarrassment to the entire University," he wrote in the e-mail message, which was copied to members of the media.

Let's see how many of these rules, admittedly and deliberately interpreted liberally, these College Republicans follow: (Quotes from above link)

01.) Complain how you're shut out of every forum on campus by going to every forum on campus and using it to complain, prominently.

When discussing the events, Terrell Jones, vice provost of educational equity, mentioned an October incident in which Covener made "racially motivated" comments on Radio Free Penn State. Jones said Covener also talked specifically about Morgan's bicycle incident. "By stealing a bike, he was reaffirming stereotypes of blacks that he should be trying to negate," he said. After the comments, Covener was asked not to return to the radio show.

02.) Complain about how your professors are liberal, even though they grade your work fairly and accurately.

Covener defended his comments. "I don't know if you can call them 'personal shots' [at Morgan]," he said.

03.) Complain about the use of academic "buzzwords" in course descriptions without having actually taken the course.

Word of the Day for Monday November 11, 2002
nugatory \NOO-guh-tor-ee; NYOO-\, adjective:
1. Trifling; insignificant; inconsequential.
2. Having no force; inoperative; ineffectual.

"Because this party was a social event, not connected in any way to the University or to any persons other than those who were invited or who attended, a defense of the appropriateness of these costumes in a public forum would be nugatory," the statement read.

04.) Complain about how much everyone else is complaining about your complaining.

Covener said any university action against the College Republicans would most likely end up in court. "This was a private party. The university has no business regulating what goes on in somebody's apartment," he said.

05.) Complain about how nobody debates any ideas while strictly limiting your debate to telling everyone else that their ideas are horrible and shut out the ideas you can't actually elucidate.

"We do not perceive a compelling need to police our members' manner of expression or to apologize, publicly or otherwise, for such expression that occurs."

06.) Complain about how the cable system doesn't carry Fox News, and complain when you get it but someone else signed up to watch Monday Night Football.

A link to the photographs was removed yesterday afternoon and replaced by a link to Battaglia's statement and the First Amendment at http://botag.net.

This is definitely the loosest interpretation I make on the campus conservative rules. I tried to log on to his site to get the statement, and found I was forbidden access to that server. So here I am, complaining about how the Internet "cable system" isn't carrying Battaglia's "FAUX News". He must be using it to watch the Friday Night Fool's Ball on FAUX.

07.) Complain about campus oppression, and then inaccurately throw activist buzzwords at every liberal you can find.

"The College Republicans ... stands staunchly opposed to the mindset held by the radical left on college campuses across the country. Their viewpoints, which posit that any action or speech which gives discomfort to a vocal minority should be cause for censorship, persecution or demands for public apologies, are the greatest threat to liberty in our time," he said.

08.) Complain about how you can't get spaces or funds to bring conservative speakers to campus to complain about the lack of conservative ideas on campus, ignoring that the space you wanted was taken months in advance by other groups.

09.) Take Econ 101. Complain about everything in barely informed economic terms.

I was hoping Battaglia had something in his statement that would cover these two rules, but I guess expression is only free if you're GOP.

10.) Complain about every stupid thing done on campus in terms of liberalism, no matter how apolitical it is. Bonus points if you can blame oversleeping for your 8:30 class on Paul Krugman.

Battaglia later issued a statement defending the actions of College Republicans in the photographs. He would not comment beyond his prepared statement. He added that the organization supports the ideals of personal liberty and freedom of expression.

No Krugman, so no extra points.

There is one good news item from all of this. One of the members of this chapter of College Republicans is a True Conservative:

<blockquote>Late last night, College Republicans Treasurer Cathy Carré announced her resignation from office, citing the photographs and the recent Conservative Coming Out Day as reasons for her decision.

As for the rest:

Black Caucus President Tiffanie Lewis called for Battaglia's resignation. Lewis said the Black Caucus would like to see College Republicans lose official student organization status. "We're aware that some of them are [USG] Supreme Court members, and some of them sit on Senate, UPAC (University Park Allocation Committee); we'd like their resignation in those areas," she said.

USG President Ian Rosenberger said he and Morgan discussed possible actions they might take against USG members involved in the party and photographs. He said the executive branch was considering, among other things, pursuing the removal of Governmental Relations Director Frank Camarota, Supreme Court Justice Julia Graham, and Sens. Andy Banducci, Vicky Cangelosi and Matt Ritsko, all of whom were pictured in the Halloween party photos, which stretched over five Web pages.

Rosenberger said USG would release an official statement this weekend. The organization does not condone the actions at the party, and "is ashamed" by members' involvement.

For what Battaglia called unrelated reasons, he resigned as a USG town senator early Wednesday morning, before these events transpired.

Soon, assuming that the Rovian GOP Election Stealing Maching is fixed in time and Bush is re-designated, there will be a military draft for the Oil Wars. These tyros will not be immune from its reach, because the uproar from the rest of us would be too great. They will likely be assigned cushy jobs where no fighting occurs, thanks to the economic pull of their parents, but they still will be servicing Uncle Sam-o-War instead of pretending to be literate and educatable human beings. Such would be at least a partial justice.

But I would bet that these good "conservatives" are only interested in conserving their own lame, lazy, bigoted asses. Should the oil Draft begin, how quickly will these guys don their "No Blood For Oil" t-shirts and march for the anti-war movement?

The question is: Do we want them marching with us?

pessimist :: 4:15 PM :: Comments (12) :: Spotlight :: Digg It!