Monday :: Mar 22, 2004

Such A Deal I Have For You!


by pessimist

Late night TV can be so enteraining! Surfing across the dial, I can see numerous informative programs which teach me simple and easy ways to Reduce Excess Weight and Tone Up Flabby Muscles, all without breaking a sweat! I can avoid Hair Loss and Impotence, with no messy creams or bad-tasting pills!! All I have to do is use the product (after sending in lots of my hard-earned cash) as demonstrated by people who don't need the product!

Simple! Easy!

And that is how YOU are viewed by those who offer such items.

Simple.
Easy.

It's no different on the national political level.

Take for example New and Improved Economic Growth, a BushCo product. All we have to do to create dramatic increases in wealth is to give more of it to those who already have too much! Simple! Easy!

Act now, and we'll throw in a Free Sample of Tax Cut Deficit Reduction for No Money Down and Decades To Pay. Simple! Easy! (Offer void everywhere except for the top 1%)

Another BushCo product, Good-paying Job Creation, works in a similar manner. For a healthy domestic workforce, all we have to do is send all of our good jobs out of the country, generating increased corporate profitability! Simple! Easy!

For the international market, BushCo has a line of wonderful products as well!

Say, Mrs. Afghanistan, isn't that an Al Qaeda training camp out there in your back yard? Want to get rid of it? No Problem! Just use our New PNAC Crackerpot Iraq Attack, and all of your jihadi infestation will be gone! Simple! Easy!

Gas Prices! They just keep going up! How can you afford to drive that traffic-accident-safe SUV anymore? What's a Soccer Mom to do?

Why, join The Halliburton Society! The Halliburton Society, the parent company of BushCo, is a group membership club which promises to quadruple your national oil reserves tomorrow for the low price of your sons and daughters today! Simple! Easy!

Time to think about putting Granny down because drug costs are going so high? Consider signing her up for the New and Improved Medicare Drug Plan! Special Rate for AARP members! Simple! Easy!

Sometimes it seems like the Road to Riches(TM), for which exclusive rights are currently claimed by BushCo, involves the presentation of a product by a good-looking front-person, whose job is to be someone you can identify with, and who will convince you that you need their product so desperately (to avoid loss of status, loss of pride, loss of appearance, loss of control of foreign oil production, or whatever) that you will send in your money today! Shipping and handling extra.

Simple! Easy!

But when the carton gets there, you find that it's bare, and that double-your-money-back guarantee isn't worth the electronic paper it's written on. Neither will anyone ever answer that 800 number help line which is always busy. The registered letter you send to the home office address comes back "Addressee Unknown".

Slowly it dawns on you, now that it's much too late, that you've been had. They offered you nothing for something and you fell for it, hook, line, and sinking economic outlook!

Simple! Easy!

Rich man plays while the poor man pays. But what did you learn from your 'simple and easy' experience? Nothing!

"... you go back, Jack, Do it again ..."

Simple! Easy!

pessimist :: 5:52 PM :: Comments (3) :: Spotlight :: Digg It!