But What About the Schools? *

by rayman

The next time some wingnut starts berating you for not extolling all the positive, goody-gumdrops things that the CPA has bestowed upon the people of Iraq, this Onion article should provide the perfect antidote.

Kimmitt said the bulk of the nation's public buildings are still standing.

"Throughout the nation, four out of five mosques have not been obliterated," Kimmitt said. "That's way, way, way more than half. Also, 80 percent of the nation's treasures and artifacts have not been destroyed by artillery or stolen in the widespread looting. If we were in school, that'd be a B-minus."

Halliburton executive vice-president and CFO C. Christopher Gaut described the progress of his company's reconstruction efforts.

"Of the millions of civilian homes that are still standing, many have electricity for hours each day," Gaut said. "The loss of $200 million in profits resulting from oil-line sabotage pales in comparison to the millions of dollars that remaining lines are generating. And a good portion of southern Iraq currently has access to fuel. Once we get the lines in the north repaired, oil fields will be operating at more than two-thirds of their former capacity."

Gaut added: "Many of the hospitals have reopened, and a good number of the schools have started holding classes at regularly scheduled hours, too."

Well that should set the nattering nabobs of negativity straight.

* Troll repellant: I am in no way trivializing or making fun of the worsening situation in Iraq. This Onion piece is simply a hilarious and incisive spoof on the Stuart Smalley-on-dope self-delusion that the warhawks have been reduced to. That is all.