Tuesday :: Aug 17, 2004

Open Thread

by Mary

How about a place for your thoughts? And for your morning reading pleasure, I've added a joke below the fold.

A joke making the rounds in email:

Republican Convention Schedule, New York, NY

6:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell

6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance

6:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)

6:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing

6:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting Your Kid A Military Deferment"

7:30 PM First Presidential Beer Bong

7:35 PM Serve Freedom Fries

7:40 PM EPA Address #1: "Mercury, It's What's for Dinner"

8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next

8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh

8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: "The Homos Are After Your Children"

8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)

8:50 PM Seminar #2: "Corporations: The Government of the Future"

9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"

9:05 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong

9:10 PM EPA Address #2: "Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires"

9:30 PM Break for secret meetings

10:00 PM Second prayer, led by Cal Thomas

10:15 PM Lecture by Carl Rove: "Doublespeak Made Easy"

10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and talk macho

10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer in headlights stare

10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory kevlar chastity belt

10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of Black Republicans

10:46 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong

10:50 PM Seminar #3: "Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy"

11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata

11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture: "Evolutionists: The Dangerous New Cult"

11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again

11:35 PM Blame Clinton

11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies

11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself

12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

Mary :: 7:47 AM :: Comments (15) :: Digg It!