Friday :: Feb 25, 2005

My Universal Theory on Rightists


by Duckman GR

My theory is, at any rate, not so Universal or Unitarian or even all that Theoretical. It is, on the other hand, my patterned brain wave manifestation. The question is, what is wrong with these people, these rightists, neo-cons, whatever. And not particularly the Names or Dwarf Stars, but the guy in the office down the hall with the NRO subscription, or the perfectly reasonable businessman who plasters dubya paraphernalia about his business, or the plumber driving to work in the #8 truck with the motto "Serving all of San Diego and Jesus since 1996" who cuts you off in traffic and rides the bumpers of cars so that people can't merge in front of him, you know, those people.

What's wrong with them? They're scared shitless. Scared of the terrorists, scared of changes, of losing their jobs, their kids to blogger love, scared of people with different ways, scared of free thinking liberals, hell, scared of any liberals. We're scary all right, because we see right through their crap and fears and insecurities, and worst of all, we don't care, we trivialize their freakin foibles and paranoia, at least that's how they view it. And why?

Coz we’re, look out for that snake, unpredictable. And the world is full of random patterns of electro-magnetic waves propagated in a manner befitting Mark twain, or Geoffrey Chaucer. Or that Homer dude, and, no, you twit, not Simpson. And unpredicatability, like spelling, creates extra work, shatters pre-conceived notions, makes some of the things you do look really, really, really stupid, Which, in a normal person might cause laughter, but in the freeperthuglicanashcroftian mindset generates self loathing, doubt, and inadequacy.

Okay, now we're back to the frightened little children.

Because it’s really all about the children, now isn’t it?

Via Atrios, via Digby, via Yglesias, via Unfogged, or versa vice, this video of the powerline assrocket talking about the crazy lefties shows me 2 things. Fear and ignorance. Because what he's saying is just stupid. And if you look at their blog (on your own) what they describe as vicious and vile attacks, and then compare them to some of the things that they wrote about Hillary Clinton, or the lovely things that Mann "Bomb the New York Times Building Instead" Coulter advocates, calling Senator Tom Daschle a traitor and so on, you’ve just got to laugh.

This is their world, and World 'OCrap synthesizes it perfectly with an analysis of Peggy Nooner. Here's an excerpt:

But hey, we're all scared, and WE don't get to be gonzo journalists. No, WE have to live quiet lives of desperation, and write sappy columns for the Wall Street Journal. But does anybody make movies about US, or call us the greatest comic writer of the 20th century. Well, DO THEY?

And that's what's wrong with Thompson. [World O'Crap]

The empty page, the blank screen, is scary. But so is a mortgage. So is the stillness of a courtroom before you make the closing argument. And so is a broken leg that needs fixing fast. We all have jobs. [Nooner]

Despair is like a cable that is buried just under the surface of the ground. You pull it up and pull it up, but that cable just keeps right on going, clear across a field, until you come to a bunch of guys who are burying the cable. Then just walk up to them and go, "Hey, have you seen Fred?" And they'll say, "Fred who?" And you say, "Fred of snakes?" Then cover your ears, because big laughs are coming. [ Jack Handley's Deep Thoughts ]


Just remember that. They're scared. Scared people do things to cover and compensate for their fear. One mustn't be exposed, even though their very actions expose them for what they are, frightened small children in need of parenting and compassion. Just don't tell em that, they get all freaky when you do, and we don't want no freaky, do we?

Duckman GR :: 12:31 AM :: Comments (26) :: Spotlight :: Digg It!