Saturday :: May 14, 2005

$lummin' For Chump Change With Big Dick

by pessimist

The Red State of Louisiana (and NOT Indiana as commenter MissM corrected me!) should be a reliable - and protest-free - place for the pResident of Vice to bestow his august presence in trade for a few token$ of the Topper$' regard in tribute for the beneficence he has - through the actions of his 'superior', the C-Average Sovereign - granted them.

But wouldn't you know it! The peasants are restless:

Cheney visit raises funds, ire

A Lafayette Parish Sheriff's Office motorcycle deputy exits the driveway of the home on Verrot School Road on Friday after Vice President Dick Cheney arrived for a fundraiser for U.S. Rep. Charles Boustany Jr.

Vice President Dick Cheney spent a few hours in town Friday, and while only a handful of people got to see Cheney at an exclusive fundraiser, many more felt his presence as they sat in traffic waiting for the vice presidential motorcade to pass.

Chase Dugas, 21, was on his way to a recording studio on Verot School Road where he works when he got caught in a line of traffic. He said he was stuck for about 30 minutes until he finally gave up and went to a friend's house.

Dugas said the vice president should have shown more consideration than to arrive at rush hour. "We're not a big town, like Houston or Los Angeles. We're a small town - we're just Lafayette - so I think he thinks he can come in here and block the roads. I don't think that's right."

Others had some bigger wrongs to right:

A sign that reads "True Patriots Against Corporate Politics" is attached to a fence Friday south of where Vice President Dick Cheney visited with supporters for a fundraiser on Verot School Road.

While Republicans gathered to fête Cheney, a small group of people rallied against the proposed privatization of Social Security at the steps of the Clifton Chenier Center.

Nina Ludington, a retired widow, said she doesn't want to see Social Security benefits cut in any way, shape or form. "I think it's horrible what he's thinking about doing," she said of President Bush's proposed changes to the Social Security system, which includes giving some the option for private investment accounts.

"Take Enron and all those companies that lost money with the market. We can't do that to our people's retirement," she said.
Part of the rally's purpose was to urge Boustany to take a clear stand on Social Security, said Ben Vaught, communications director for Louisiana United to Protect Social Security.
"No one said being a congressman was easy, but he got elected by talking straight with constituents and now we want him to do that again," he said.
"It's a tough position to be in, to side with the unpopular by supporting it or going against the president by not, but with an issue this important, he owes it to his district to let them know where he stands."

Those who attended the fundraiser said they know where Boustany, Cheney and Vitter stand.

"They believe in these saving accounts," said Bill Fenstermaker, president of C.H. Fenstermaker and Associates, a local engineering firm. "It gives people ownership and assets. Right now the system is a bunch of IOUs for future generations that we never see. There's no tangible assets there for people."

Since these people seem to know money, they should understand what this article is trying to say - there's no money for the Bu$hCo oil war, either:

Start a War, No Money Down!

In the old days, war profiteering was a grueling round-the-clock job. You actually had to make something, like planes or guns, and then overcharge the government obscenely. Now, thanks to the Republicans, countless Americans are becoming "war profiteers" in their spare time - and you can, too. Riches once thought to be the exclusive preserve of a few unsavory arms merchants have been made available to thousands of successful Americans, many of whom pull in the cash literally as they sleep!

What's their secret? With The Republican Guide to Wartime Tax Cuts, you can find out what's in the playbook of Republican professionals. You'll get the war you want without laying out a dime, even as you benefit from huge tax cuts to boot (note: certain income thresholds apply).

And here's the kicker: you can slip the bill for all of this - both the war and your tax cut - to unsuspecting children!
On Wednesday, George Bush signed into law an additional $82 billion for Iraq, which brings the amount America has spent to oust Saddam Hussein and occupy the country close to $300 billion.

Now, whatever you thought about Saddam, the best news is this: we got this war for no money down and zero payments for 10 years.

That's right: every penny spent on this war has been added to the deficit. And this latest $82 billion sailed through without a hitch, with no pesky questions as to whether we should actually pay for our own wars today.

Now the drive for more tax cuts continues, even as yearly deficits close in on half a trillion dollars!

If you're ready to bring into your own life the power that this total suppression of fiscal and moral reality can offer, The Republican Guide is for you.

Our CD's and training manuals will teach you how to profit during wartime without ever leaving your home. In an age of everlasting war, we'll show you which congressmen to call to make sure your tax cuts are permanent to match.

But there's more. Beyond learning how to maximize your own wartime tax cuts, you'll master previously undisclosed behavioral secrets that let you act as if there's nothing wrong with getting yours while the getting's good - just as top Republicans do!

Don't take my word for it. Listen to how someone just like you changed his life in a few short hours of study:


THIRTY-SOMETHING MALE: I never felt strong enough to utterly ignore Judeo-Christian ethics, even though I suspected that could get me the life I dreamed of. That's why The Republican Guide is so inspiring.

Believe it or not, there was actually a time when it was considered offensive to fight wars and cut taxes at the same time. In those days, conservatives were ostracized for wanting to scrap estate taxes for wealthy heirs while soldiers died in distant lands and their families scraped by on food stamps. I know - it seems so far away!

That's when I had to ask myself: if Republicans could find the courage to put these inhibitions behind them, imagine what I could do to reach for the brass ring in my own life. Now, though I'd rather not go into the details, I make more money, pay less taxes and have a beautiful wife and child.

So what are you waiting for? Our operators are standing by at call centers in India. Let The Republican Guide to Wartime Tax Cuts change your life, just as it's changed America.

[OBLIGATORY SMALL PRINT: Support for the Republicans' wartime fiscal policy may include such side effects as 50 million uninsured, crumbling roads and bridges, and swelling inequality.]

But you can give up that expensive Viagra!

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pessimist :: 1:10 PM :: Comments (19) :: Digg It!