We Heads Win, You Tails Lose
Labor said to Capital, "Let's have a race!"
"Capital idea!" said Capital. "Since everyone knows that He Who Has The Gold Makes The Rules, we shall take on that heavy burden.
"First, in order to make the race more fair, and in order to properly represent your status in life, you, Labor, must race pushing a wheel barrow filled with government debt instruments, and the wheel of fair wages must be removed because it gives you an unfair advantage.
"Next, since we are expected to provide a retirement for you after the race, that is an unfair advantage to you. Therefore, you must race without your Social Security shirt. Giving you such an unfair advantage would cause you not to race to your full potential.
"Wear lots of financial sun block - we're only thinking of your future welfare! Consult your professional financial advisor for more information - we'll give you the number.
"Because it isn't fair to us if you wear the shoes of a functioning health care system, you will have to remove them and race barefoot. Did you know that due to the elimination of excessive EPA regulation, the racing surface is crushed toxic waste? We saved money on the course surface because it was so readily and cheaply available.
"Lastly, since you have no reason to need legal rights anyway, you will have to remove those tort shorts, as the law is intended only to protect Capital from Labor and not the other way around. Fear not for your modesty, as the new Clear Skies Initiative will cover your shortcomings.
"Now that you are properly prepared for the race, you may begin, but be aware - we've already lapped you ten times.
"Oh - the rules also say we win no matter what you do. We should know - we intelligently created them!"