Community Theaters Harbor Dangerous People
Our military is doing everything they can to make sure that our nation is safe from the unwholesome forces that threaten to destroy our civilization. And, because we all know that God is punishing America because they tolerate
torture homosexuals, our military is carefully screening for such deviant behavior by checking to see if someone is a member of a community theatre. God forbid that people who are good actors might just be better at empathizing with other people and so actually better at learning languages. We can only use good American Christians who are alienated against all things foreign to become Army interpreters. That should help us go far in getting into the hearts and minds of the other, don't 'cha think?