Friday :: May 25, 2007

Live and Learn, Mr. Wolff


by paradox

Top o’ the morning, sir! It’s precisely 0949 east coast, so you have approximately 14 hours left of the worst professional and party day of your life ahead of you. Take three Alleve, pour your guts out to Chris Van Hollen over lunch and know at least your dog will be nice to you today.

My my, that email. Hail, Democratic Base, we just went out and kicked Bush’s ass! If I’ve really suckered you into an admirable wing-nut state of total denial and fantasy, let me rip you off with a contribution!

Bill in Portland Maine, legendary publisher to a horde of voracious livid leftists half a million strong at The Daily Kos, took your testicles off and used them as birdies in a relentless rhetorical badminton game live in real time this second, the eyes solemnly watching back and forth, back and forth, as your hapless organs are swatted endlessly in vicious swinging blasts of fury.

You’re forgiven. Come to YearlyKos, I’ll tell you some of the doozy mails I have to live with that I’ve sent to the community.

My only request for this earned hell on earth for the next 14 hours is that its lessons never be forgotten or repeated. The base is beating the drums with tiki torches and pitchforks as they watch your testicle badminton game because y’all in DC never seem to learn, we’ve got the worst President of all time because Democrats let it happen.

Now you know. Fun times, eh?

If I could humbly make another tiny request, it would only be that in the future you get codified approval from Mr. Van Hollen for your email communications when such sensitive times as humiliating failure arrive for the base. He’s gotten off to a very good start, and I find it hard to believe he would have approved of your email.

paradox :: 6:49 AM :: Comments (20) :: Digg It!