Stephen Colbert Launches Presidential Bid
by Jeff Dinelli
Ending worldwide speculation, talk show host and author Steven Colbert announced last night "I shall seek the office of the president of the United States."
Politicians and media pundits were immediately ready to throw the whole presidential race up for grabs. CBS' Jeff Greenfield predicted "This is going to be one for the books."
After last night's stunning news, questions immediately arose as to how damaging the right-wing pundit's run would be to Republican hopefuls Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, Mitt Romney and John McCain. Some media pundits predicted he would top the nationwide polls right away, while others placed him a strong 2nd or 3rd.
"After nearly 15 minutes of soul-searching, I have heard the call," said Colbert, adding "It's clear that the voters are desperate for a white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative."
Despite the thunderous chatter coming from all forms of media about Colbert's potential, perhaps tellingly, none of the existing campaigns have commented as of yet.
One source from The Left Coaster, who asked not to be named, said, "He not only instantly becomes the best Republican candidate in the field, he also represents the strongest opponent standing in the way of a Hillary Clinton presidency."