Obama Forced To Ask Overall-Wearing Inbreds For Their Votes In Iowa
by Jeff Dinelli
Pity poor Barack Obama. Not only is he Senator of Illinois, where most of us don't live in his elite city of Chicago but rather in rural, farm-based small communities, but his first battle to seize the Golden Ring, the Democratic Party Nominee for President, is held in the nearly all-rural farming state of Iowa. How to relate? How to peddle the idea that his Politics of Hope grows right out of the midwest's fertile soil like so many corn and soybean crops, not just out of a law school classroom in Chicago?
Allow me to display Exhibit A in How Not To Relate To Midwestern Rural Communities, straight from the candidate's mouth, on Nightline last night:
But they also, surprisingly enough, even in rural Iowa, recognize the opportunity to send a signal to the world that, you know, we are not as ingrown, as parochial as you may perceive...
Well, Golly, Mr. Obama, on behalf of all us Midwesterners out here, you know, those of us who have to drive 'bout an hour er so to get to the Bears game or one of dem mooseums? We sure is lucky to have you out in the sticks with us so's we can grab hold of this opportunity to prove to the world we're not all inbred, cousin-kissin', voodoo doll stickin' hicks who wear our best white sneakers to church on Sunday before headin' to the all-you-can-eat buffet. Why heck, after diggin' yer pickup truck out of six feet of snow we may just invite you in for a plate of goulash and Jello salad, how'd ya like that, Mr. Obama?
Wait, there's more. Taylor Marsh quotes him today from New Hampshire:
"One of the great pleasures of running for president is to go to some tiny town in Iowa and you've got some guy in overalls and a seahat to say what do you think about the situation in Burma, and you're thinking that he's going to ask you about corn, and he asks you about Burma."
Being from a small Midwestern farming community, I'd be likely here to "shoot the breeze," "chew the fat" or "spin a yarn or two" about a "city slicker" who may have "bit off more than he can chew" by running for President at such a young and inexperienced stage of his career. I could warn him not to "count your chickens before they're hatched" because the "cream always rises to the top" in these contests and if he ignores that, he could find himself "living on borrowed time" or even finding himself with "one foot in the grave."
But you know what? Not all of us Midwesterners are so "nice" and "polite," especially when we're being called inbred overall-wearing dumbfucks.
Screw you and the horse you rode in on, Barack.