Saturday :: Jul 17, 2010

Wearying Times


by paradox

For whatever reasons that entered their frightfully intelligent, devious, cunning minds of happy mischief a few raccoons from the local clan raided the home lot tonight, trouble starting at 2:30 when our 12 lb. Pomeranian kept going outside to bark furiously at something in the massive backyard Canadian ash. At 3:00 there was a furious yelp and growl from the hallway, the Pomeranian was in fierce pursuit of a raccoon who was going for the cat food, but as soon as the chase was on the back lawn the raccoon abruptly abandoned flight for a furious yelping brawl, the dog howling in perfect synchronization to each furious double-claw swiped from a huge fearless raccoon.

Roaring and clapping furiously, naked in the dark, the raccoon growled at me and scampered up the tree, the dog hurriedly scampering inside, chastened but rightfully proud of a righteous fight. Dogs stopped barking, the neighbor's lights eventually went back off and everyone but the raccoons and I went back to sleep; always a light sleeper, there was no way I was resting after that. The raccoons could have cared less, they saw me sitting outside but scampered all over the roof and in the tree for an hour, laughing and chattering. Nothing short of a firearm would take them out, no suburbanite in anyone’s living memory has done it, which of course the raccoons know quite well. I’m not upset about it, they follow a few rules and own the night, fine, I’m just not sleeping well again.

I’ve had some scar trouble that has kept me off my bike for 14 days, it’s embarrassing that as an allegedly grown man that I’ve become semi-obsessed with being a good bicyclist, but there it is. I sulked and stayed away from the gym, finally going back 2 days ago, and now I’m freaking sore to going along with the sulks. Another 15 days off the frame because of those stupid scars.

I’m afraid there’s been some trouble at the food bank garden, too. In November 2008 I took Michelle Obama seriously to work on a church garden, ours needed a steward and I knew it, so I just did it, starting with renovating the legacy rose garden, cleaning up a huge mess, and then building a massive food bank garden that was manifestly not in my interest, but I was helplessly possessed to do it. Nothing was planned for that drainage corner of the campus for a decade, I was told, and all seemed well.

But suddenly this group for church ladies is determined to build some spiritual walkway circle thing, I forget what the fuck it’s called, they have $30,000 and want to wipe out the legacy rose garden for it, last Sunday after working potatoes with the children they came grimly trooping through, I didn’t know what they were doing at first and then I got the hell out of there, they didn’t introduce themselves and could care less what the gardener could possibly say.

I’ve run into this previously in the garden, always comically before, strangers arrive for whatever reason to check things out and talk to me like I’m a plant with the mental abilities of the vegetables around me, white hired held to talk down to is nothing for these Silicon Valley humans.

I suppose if the walk-around thing is so totally critical all of sudden the roses must go, but I’m a little afraid at how it will tear at my heart to see them vanish. I suppose if they can’t see me in real time they couldn’t see me hacking manure in the fading cold dark, the torn clothes and bloody, bruised punctures, a sore back and aching forearm easily put aside for the possibly glory of Spring. I would have told them I still talk to my friends and God and therapist and dear ones in the blooms all the time, I was just feeding the roses again, but they won’t ask.

So, you know, I’m in some wearying times and I’ll be quiet for a while. I guess, when I’m confident I don’t feel so stretched I’ll know I can contribute to the community and then I’ll write more. I’m not some liberal blogger badass, a legend in my own mind, yes, but still just a little person American, trying to make life better for every American in blog forms. That’s always been my sole mission here, and will continue to be.

paradox :: 6:54 AM :: Comments (14) :: Digg It!