Monday :: Oct 17, 2011

I’m On Contract


by paradox

As many of you know I have been ill for a decade with cyclical vomiting syndrome, a neurological disorder related to migraines, and like many migraine sufferers after nine years the nightmare began to sputter and fade, finally to just abruptly stop. I will know more in a year, but things are radically different and I’m myself again for now.

I started some freelancing this summer with a resume strategy I scarcely believed in, sure I was going to end up some semi-starved kinda-okay writer, but 30 days ago the Valley called, it’s why I’ve been so stone quiet, and amazingly all worked well, I start on contract in a few days in the big glass buildings. It’s not exactly a job but I am a consultant, deliriously grateful and excited.

I won’t be writing a word for months, perhaps years, not until I am precisely sure my duty in the Valley would not be distracted by something stupid or inflammatory I wrote in an environment that is distinctly politicized, believe me. I have been frantically worried for years another employment chance would never arrive, now that’s it’s here nothing in the universe will sway my focus.

It’s been difficult to write this, it’s my fourth attempt, it’s impossible to be gleeful when so many brothers and sisters are desperate for any work. All I can say is that you are in my thoughts every day, my life has been twisted into places I could never have imagined, and that earlier this year I pledged to a great writer at Daily Kos I would not give up, despite all the heaps of reeking wreckage lying around. I have no idea what will happen to us, but when you give up…

I am deeply conscious of my people in Chronic Tonic at Daily Kos, too, a place I belonged yet did not fit in, between cycles I was basically okay, whereas the disease and sickness there is almost always truly daily and chronic, where vacuuming the house is a wrenching effort of tears and raging frustration. I will not forget, go anywhere or stop checking in, of course not, hell I could be technically back, whatever, you are forever my people and the Valley could never change that.

I will be be voting for Barack Obama Election 2012.

It’s time for me to go now. Of course I will be watching and reading every day, just on the quiet side, is all.

The little people are in the streets on our watch. I’m often surprised at the seemingly benign acceptance of this fact. Change is upon us, I know the little people won’t accept the nonchalance forever.

paradox :: 8:32 AM :: Comments (10) :: Digg It!