Pravda in the Brezhnev years
Posted by bz at May 26, 2005 12:46 AMDo I have to choose between having my fingernails pulled with pliers or body stretching on the rack?
No news at all, thanks.
Posted by at May 26, 2005 01:12 AMI would choose Fox. Since I wouldn't really be getting decent news from either source, I would choose Fox for its entertainment value. (Plus those "BREAKING NEWS" sounds effects just suck me in. Who can resist those!)
Posted by Andy at May 26, 2005 01:39 AMGiven the current attack on NPR, which I
just blogged about, this question could be
less hypothetical than one may think.
I'll take Al-J. which at least admits its
subjective at time. Check out the movie
"Control Room" for more on that.
this is a choice? I'll take AJ. Maybe they'll address the issue nobody wants to face: Bush ordered 9/11.
Posted by Mal Feasance at May 26, 2005 04:09 AMI guess I'd take Fox, realizing that whatever news they reported meant the exact opposite was really happening. Plus it is fun to watch Bill O'Lielly and Sean Hannity blow head gaskets from time to time over nothing. Even better, Did you ever watch them with the sound turned off and no closed captioning?
Posted by at May 26, 2005 04:23 AMI've been going to Al-J for over a year now. Never watch Fox because I have high blood pressure.
Posted by Judith at May 26, 2005 04:39 AMWell, since I don't speak Arabic, the choice is simple: Al Jazeera.
Posted by Matt Davis at May 26, 2005 05:51 AMdamn you matt, i was gonna say that!
Posted by benjoya at May 26, 2005 05:53 AMWould I still have access to books?
If so I'd choose Fox News, pull the plug on my tv and use it as an ottoman.
Posted by muckcat at May 26, 2005 05:54 AMWhy do you need news on a desert island? If it was a life-or-death choice (choose or die!), I'd take Fox for entertaiment value. If subjected to one of them as torture, I'd choose AlJ.
Pox on all their houses!
Posted by Buck Turgidson at May 26, 2005 05:56 AMFox is more fun And I know exactly where they are coming from. AlJ would be way too serious.
Posted by Marvyt at May 26, 2005 06:18 AMIf I had to watch - Al Jazeera. We're talking "if I had to watch because Anthony Bugress kidnapped me, stapped me into a chair, and stapled my eyes open so I have to watch"
Otherwise, the TV would be unplugged and in a cabinet somewhere. Or in the trash with a large hole in the screen.
Posted by idiosynchronic at May 26, 2005 06:21 AMHoly shit, Steve! This is a hell of a question to start the day with. One the one hand, if I say FOX I'm a liar. One the other hand, if I say Al Jazz I'll be put on the 'Know-flys' list. So, Monte, all I can tell you is I'll take curtain number 3.
My question is: If Hann-job-ity, Rush-the-Lush, and O'Liely all jump off the Empire State building at the exact same time, who hits the ground first?
Posted by phidipides at May 26, 2005 06:40 AMI vote for warm breezes wafting through the palm trees. Hell, I'm on a desert island ... who needs propaganda?
Posted by N in Seattle at May 26, 2005 06:52 AMI would fish.
Posted by T2 at May 26, 2005 06:52 AMMy question is: If Hann-job-ity, Rush-the-Lush, and O'Liely all jump off the Empire State building at the exact same time, who hits the ground first?
Has to be the drug addict. He weighs the most. Hand job would be next with O'lielly last because he would have some falafel that he could stick to the sides and top of the building to delay his fall to oblivion.
Has to be the drug addict. He weighs the most.
That's not how gravity works. In a vacuum, all would hit at the same time. In real life, drag becomes a factor; being the fattest, Rush has more resistance to the surrounding air, so he would probably hit last. Of course, everybody else would be the real winners.
Posted by Matt Davis at May 26, 2005 07:15 AMMy question is: If Hann-job-ity, Rush-the-Lush, and O'Liely all jump off the Empire State building at the exact same time, who hits the ground first?
If there was a leggy studio producer standing next to a falafel cart on Fifth Avenue holding a bottle of oxycontin in one hand and a vanity mirror in the other they'd all hit the ground at the exact same moment. Several seconds faster than a lead weight released from the same height at precisely the same time.
Posted by muckcat at May 26, 2005 07:20 AMMatt,
They all would be happily bouncing off the sides of the building on the way down so it would be hard to tell.
We haven't watched television since 1993.
Posted by Dixie at May 26, 2005 07:27 AMWHy would I need either on a desert island? If I can't call up my representatives and complain, I think I'd just as soon do without the "news" entirely.
aimai
Posted by at May 26, 2005 07:37 AMi'd build an internet entirely out of coconuts.
Posted by cali_ at May 26, 2005 08:06 AMWatching Fox News is like submitting to a lobotomy; it's as close as you can get to the real thing, without surgery.
Posted by Copeland at May 26, 2005 08:13 AMMy question is: If Hann-job-ity, Rush-the-Lush, and O'Liely all jump off the Empire State building at the exact same time, who hits the ground first?
Alan Colmes would hit first. Then all three would pile on top of him.
Posted by libdevil at May 26, 2005 08:17 AMWatching Faux just increases their ratings. I watch NO Faux whatsoever . . . I really miss the Simpson's, though.
Posted by CalModerate at May 26, 2005 08:29 AMIf Hann-job-ity, Rush-the-Lush, and O'Liely all jump off the Empire State building at the exact same time, who hits the ground first?
Let's perform the experiment and find out!
Posted by pessimist at May 26, 2005 08:53 AMThat's not how gravity works.
Well, since they are all lightweights, I don't think they'd ever hit the ground. A more important question is, if there was no one there to watch them, would they make a sound?
Posted by buck turgidson at May 26, 2005 08:56 AMFox. AJ is lacking the following:
A) Saturday morning business block.
B) Paris Hilton Carl's Jr Spicy BBQ Burger ad.
Posted by muckdog at May 26, 2005 09:03 AMRemember that Wood Allen movie, "What's Up, Tiger Lilly?" where he took a Japanese movie about (I think) Kung Fu and dubbed in hilarious dialogue? That's what I want: Fox News, but with dubbed in dialogue, maybe penned by Al Franken.
Posted by Doofus at May 26, 2005 09:11 AM"If there was a leggy studio producer standing next to a falafel cart on Fifth Avenue "
Would that be Ann Coulter?
Jonathan
Posted by at May 26, 2005 09:27 AMNo. I've seen better legs on a 3rd world famine victim.
Posted by idiosynchronic at May 26, 2005 09:36 AMDefinitely AJ. I think they are much more fair and balanced that Fox. Also, I can't watch Fox, since it inevitably makes me furious.
Posted by Dave at May 26, 2005 09:56 AMAl Jazeera seems to take pains to be evenhanded
Posted by john griffith at May 26, 2005 11:30 AMPut de lime in de coconut and call me in the morning.
Posted by harry neilson at May 26, 2005 02:06 PMI do not listen or care to listen to either one.
Posted by captcoyote at May 26, 2005 03:23 PMI just like to watch.
Posted by Chauncey Gardner at May 26, 2005 06:07 PMIf Hann-job-ity, Rush-the-Lush, and O'Liely all jump off the Empire State building at the exact same time, who hits the ground first?
And the punchline is:
Who cares?
Posted by phidipides at May 26, 2005 09:10 PMNice phidip!!
Posted by Marty, a proud american veteran at May 27, 2005 09:41 AMI want to know why Ann Coulter wasn't one of the jumpers.
Posted by B.Jeany at May 27, 2005 10:16 AMleft coaster seems chock full of folks unable to admit what most here fear; i am a liberal and it's been two elections since i've been able to sleepo at night without the light on and the door ajar and my friendly bear bear.
Posted by rummy at May 28, 2005 08:25 PMWhat was that supposed to mean?
Posted by confoozed at May 29, 2005 11:16 AM