"The basis of our governments being the opinion of the people, the very first object should be to keep that right; and were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter. But I should mean that every man should receive those papers and be capable of reading them." --Thomas Jefferson
Posted by patriot at June 11, 2005 04:09 PMYou know why progressive bloggers get down? They get down because they think the goal is convincing the other 85% of the country that their way is the right way, when their goal ought to be convincing the center of the electorate that they (progressives) are right on one or two key issues.
Take the environment, for example. Progressives could own this issue and help sell it to the middle of the voting public, but to do that they'd have to emphasize the national security aspects of good energy policy, which would also help preserve and improve the environment by getting us off fossil fuels. But that would lead to icky and tough foreign policy questions that progressives can't deal with without turning into pacifist pussies, which incidentally is why the rest of the electorate thinks of progressives as pacifist pussies.
(And demanding that people admit that Iraq was a mistake and thatyou pacifist pussies were right in this case doesn't help any. Everyone knows Bush fucked this up, but that says nothing about the next time, when war might actually be necessary. Say what you want about how dumb Americans really are, they know it's better to shoot first when your ass might be on the line.)
Progressives fucked things up for Kerry in 2004 by pushing Gay Marriage, and I have no doubt progressives will keep fucking things up for the Democratic Party for the foreseeable future. Which makes it all the more embarrassing to me that progressives like you are whining about being disenfranchised when the truth is you do everything you can to stay outside the mainstream.
Pick and issue that plays to the middle and show the rest of the country that you're actually relevant. Because right now you don't mean shit.
Posted by Skyler at June 11, 2005 06:10 PMHey Skyler - what unit are you enlisted in?
I assume you are not a "pacifist pussy."
If you are not in Iraq you should have some damn good reasons you warmongering ignorant penis.
I agree, things are looking up. Which doesn't necessarily mean they are getting better, just that the truth is actually starting to sink in. It has long been on my mind how to suggest to the fundamentalist I work with how offended I would be if someone claiming to be such as I were to lie so boldly to me utterly confidant I would buy the lie. It is incredibly disappointing as an educator just how gullible these creatures are.
Uhmmm... Skyler, this progressive did a Tour of Duty in '72. This progressive spent the late 70's and early 80's living in a school bus on the High Cascade with guns and dogs and kids and goats and a three year supply of beans and dried bacon. This progressive is pissed off, and packs a pistol. Perhaps you'd care to join me on the greensward down at Drake Park at daylight tomorrow?
If you are unwilling to do so, you ain't shit.
Posted by Thomas Ware at June 11, 2005 06:50 PMMemogate. Has a nice ring to it, sort of a ring of truth. I am one who is sick of the "gate" thing, but I'll make an exception for this one.
And Skyler - you might look up the meaning of "progressive" in the dictionary. The fanatical far right, and the fanatical far left, cancel each other out. But I believe that the country is ready for some authentic progressive changes to the "leadership" that we have now.
Somewhere along the line, the label "progressive" picked up a bad rep. According to Webster's: progressive: one believing in moderate social change, and especially social improvement by government action. Also: moving forward or onward; ADVANCING. Sounds damn good to me, and I suspect that its sounding damn good to an increasing number of Americans.
Memogate, huh? Sounds better every time I say it.
Oh yeah - this progressive served in the U.S. Navy, 1968-72. Amazing how many enlisted men despised Nixon, and everything that crook stood for. Talk about "deja vu".
Posted by badgervan at June 11, 2005 06:57 PMjeff macnelly's spinning in his grave over skyler's choice of name.
Posted by idiosynchronic at June 11, 2005 07:10 PMGood God Skyler, get a grip, and take badgervan's advice to understand what the hell you're talking about. The only thing I took comfort in during your little diatribe is the fact that it seems the dark side is loosening it's hold on you. Come into the light, Skyler, come into the light. It's been a long dark night for you. You can think your own thoughts here, and you don't have to follow a failed party line any longer. It's clean over here, nothing like the dirty bastards you've been around.
And, I have been able to have discussions with certain coworkers who are evangelicals and fundamentalists and not have them lapse back into the latest lines they learned from Sean Hannity.
I finally had my brother and nephew listen to a nice line of reason over the weekend. There is so much those on the right don't know about this administration, but they seem willing to listen and learn now. The idiot son fucked-up badly with Social Security. It's time to put the garlic around our necks and drive a stake through the hearts of these evil undead.
Posted by phidipides at June 11, 2005 07:53 PM"Day after day, alone on a hill, the man with a foolish grin is perfectly still
But nobody wants to know him, they can see that he's just a fool as he never gives and answer
But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down
And the eyes in his head see the world spinning round.
Well on the way, head in a cloud, the man of a thousand voices talking perfectly loud
But knowbody ever hears him or the sound he appears to make and he never seems to notice
But the fool on the hill sees the sun going down
And the eyes in his head see the world spinning round.
And nobody seems to like him they can tell what he wants to do
And he never shows his feelings but the Fool on the Hill
Sees the sun going down and the eyes in his head see the world spinning round.
He never listens to them He knows that they're the fools
They don't like him
The Fool on the Hill sees the sun going down
And the eyes in his head see the world spinning round." Lennon-McCartney
The people on the hill have been voting and you've seen the results. We're going to continue voting. 2006 plus three to six new Republican Senators. The House still under the control of Hastert and Co. Just wait till 2008, 62,000,000 will be a starting point for Republican Voters.
I've been enjoying my lemonade while looking over all the nice judges being confirmed. Great deal that compromise, glad y'all liked it soo much. 213 out 218 judges confirmed soo far, soon we'll get the others. Democratic principles aren't worthy enough for Democrats to stand up for them. Even Senator Byrd voted for Justice Owens. And while Chrm. Dean is out there making a fool of himself. Ken Mehlman is quietly out making some more converts amongst the Latino and African-American community.
Talking about that poll stating 82% of Republicans are white Christians. Think about it. About 40% of the Latino vote supported President Bush. About 11% of the African-American vote supported President Bush. Those numbers are greater than the 18% remaining. And our representation in those two groups is expanding.
Posted by peter at June 11, 2005 08:00 PMNice job, Pessimist!
Posted by Alexandra at June 11, 2005 09:04 PMTW:
"This progressive is pissed off, and packs a pistol. Perhaps you'd care to join me on the greensward down at Drake Park at daylight tomorrow?"
Jesus Christ, are you really that stupid? You shouldn't post shit like that on the internet. Not only are there laws against that kind of thing, but you're setting yourself up to get sniped.
Posted by VC at June 11, 2005 09:12 PMGlad Tidings! The REAL Bush Agenda Will Soon Be Made Manifest!
Dear Ranger and Pioneer Patriots,
As a sign of gratitude for your support of the righteous Republican cause, it is with great pleasure that I forward to you an exclusive overview of the agenda that the George W. Bush administration is now making manifest. The fact that nabobs are chattering that the current Bush term is in trouble due to lack of success on social security shows that our strategy is working to perfection. While everyone's attention has been diverted to social security issues, we'll soon be launching a multi-front legislative assault that will shock and awe our enemies into abject submission. Liberals will be helpless, for example, to stop our True Democracy Voting Reform Act which will finally give corporations their Constitutional right to run for public elective office. Thanks to your generosity, we already own the votes needed to enact this legislation, which is vitally needed to solve a looming crisis. This and much more to celebrate are described in the inspiring essay below, which is the sole work of President Bush himself. I am sure you will all agree that his brilliant exposition conclusively refutes the vicious rumors purveyed through the Liberal media that he lacks a grasp of the issues and that his every move and statement is somehow choreographed on behalf of corporate interests. Rather, he proves here that he is among the great Conservative intellectuals of our times, a true visionary and original thinker, together, we fashion a Second American Revolution (SAR) that will serve as a beckoning beacon of opportunity for the rest of the world. After reading his golden words, I am sure you will agree that your contributions to our Grande Olde Party are wise investments indeed that will generate manifold returns. PLEASE NOTE THAT DUE TO THE POLITICALLY SENSITIVE NATURE OF THIS CONFIDENTIAL TRANSMISSION, IT IS FOR YOUR EYES ONLY. IF YOU ALLOW FURTHER DISTRIBUTION YOU WILL FORFEIT ANY AND ALL RIGHTS TO AUTHOR LEGISLATION AND REGULATIONS, TO RULE A GOVERNMENT DEPARTMENT, OR TO SERVE AS AN AMBASSADOR.
Sincerely,
Ken Mehlman, Chairman
Republican National Committee
A SECOND AMERICAN REVOLUTION TO ACHIEVE A GILDED MILLENIUM
By George W. Bush
President, United States of America
Introduction
As important key members of our team that's almost entirely succeeded in eliminating the Liberal menace, I believe you deserve to be the first to have the inside info on the real agenda of my 2nd administration. First let me point out there are folks who aim low because they don't think perfection is possible. But I refuse to accept that and I always aim high. These past few years I've studied deep about solving all the main problems of our country so we can reach perfection in the eyes of Our Lord. Keep reading to see the truths I discovered and the solutions I developed. Taken together it adds up to have what is equal to a revolution, what I call the Second American Revolution (SAR) because it will free us from the tyranny of a government that opposes our God-given right to conduct our businesses as we see fit without regulation. This will lead to what I like to call a terrific gilded age, because gilded means something like covered in gold, and as we all know the gold standard is the highest standard, and unlike Liberals only the highest standards are good enough for me.
Perfecting the Election System
The most highest priority area we need to perfect is the elections of America. The problem is that there are undemocratic elitists (Liberals) who exploit the US election system year after year for their own selfish ends. Liberals don't care about average Americans but only special interests, like homosexuals, criminals, drug addicts, atheists, welfare queens, loser species, etc. etc. My inspiration on how to fix the broken electing system so it can't be manipulated by Liberals any more was one of those funny beer commercials where the two beers are running for President of beers. So I thought, “Why not?” You see, the fact is corporations are “persons” in the eyes of the law and have all the rights and protections of our US Constitution just like any other citizen, ever since thats how a very wise Supreme Court ruled sometime in the 1800s. I learned that when I was deep in study for my MBA. Now all that knowledge came together in a flash of God-given inspiration that corporations too must be able to run for public office. With that Supreme Court decision we don't even need to amend the Constitution, so patriotic corporations can finally get elected like they deserve and put Liberals in the dustbin of history where they belong.
Perfecting Tax-free Government
You'll be happy to know we're going to eliminate entirely the evil of taxes! In a nutcase, we won't need taxes because all government functions will be privatized and the “user pays” because that's the fair free market way. As just one example, money for our highways and byways will be collected by computers that automatically charge drivers only for the road or bridge or tunnel they actually use.
Of course, the federal government does have a few important functions, like fighting wars and paying the national debt and paying farm corporations not to grow crops, so we must all contribute. To avoid the evil of taxes, everyone will have the opportunity to contribute a tithe of 15% of their wages (don't worry my Ranger and Patriot friends, investment income isn't included so you'll still be able to pay almost nothing just like always). Tithing is the God-given way and it's traditional and simple - no deductions, no complex tax code to worry about. Tithing will be completely voluntary. However, we will strengthen our laws against unpatriotism, and those proving themselves to be unpatriots by not tithing will be given the opportunity to contribute to the perfection of our criminal justice system (see below).
The federal and local tax cuts we all have fought so viciously for mean less public services which is great because giving to people only makes them dependent and lazy, as everyone knows. All kinds of benefits are already being felt. For example, public universities in almost every state have to raise tuition while our rising federal deficit means we have no choice but cut student loans. This means fewer young adults will go to college, which is great to prevent infection by what they call the Liberal arts because most professors are Liberals who just brainwash students with idiotic Socialism ideas about social justice and negative history and atheism and politically correct. Because they hate freedom and liberty I guess. It's better for people to just go from high school to a job and learn what's really important from their employer. If they still insist in believing in the myth that college education is good, we'll have a better way. Its called home schooling, which is a method already proved to be better than public schools in K-12 because it helps people grow up smart enough to always vote Republican because we know better than any scientist or PhD. Under my new system, just go to the Department of Ed website and certify you got enough hours of training from a qualified relative at home and you got your Masters or PhD or MBA or MD.
Here's a summary of the essential essence of what I'm talking about:
The evil Liberal-Communist way: Tax tax tax everyone and discriminate against the great capitalists like you who make America great by taxing them more, then give the money to faceless bureaucrats who waste most of it and give the rest of it away to lazy parasites. This is how the Welfare State works.
The good new SAR-Republican way: Ensure the few really deserving good folks chosen by God own most of the capital and get rid of the Welfare State by getting rid of taxes so the American people will have more to spend on things and services so therefore more profits for our corporations and we'll get richer, and then we'll have more to give away as charity on things we have the God-given wisdom to choose a lot better than any bureaucrat. We'll call this the Charity State. No longer will there be rights to this and rights to that made up by activistic Liberal judges - now we wise patriots will decide who deserves help and how much.
Perfecting the Free Market
Remember: America became great through the free market so we need to make the free market really free. This means freedom from infinite weight of government regulations. Our new rational way to regulate will be to privatize: private companies will bid to do regulation, and their contracts will be paid by the folks being regulated. By privatizing we won't need the evil of taxing American citizens and we'll all benefit from the synergy of the profit motive. Of course, Liberals will whine about losing their Gestapo agencies (like the IRS, FDA, OSHA, etc etc) and about what happens to the millions of government regulators who've been sucking on the public tax teat so many years. Where will they go and what will they do? Out of our compassion, we'll encourage ex-regulators to seek the opportunity to finally learn skills that actually contribute to American society, like landscaping, computer data entry, or eyeglass repair.
By the way, you may be interested to know that we have a new confidential internal policy: any industry or sector of the economy that fails to do its fair share in giving lots and lots of resources to fight the Liberal menace, we will impose a true free market on that industry or sector of the economy. I think you know what that means. A true free market means no subsidies or tax breaks, it means consumers will be given lots and lots of accurate information like how much of what they pay for goes for research or for marketing, and companies will actually have to pay all the costs they never paid before like the pollution they cause. Think about it.
Perfecting the Labor System
A Republican SAR free market will also require a labor system where workers are at last free of unions sucking dues from their pockets and stomping out their entrepreneurial spiritualism. Now everyone will have the right to work, and along with that will come opportunities for self-responsibility: asserting their own self-worth on the free and open labor market, taking responsibility for their own safety on the job, putting money away for retirement or doctor visits, and so on. Each and every American will be a virtual entrepreneurial army of one, conquering the work of the day, competing to exterminate competitors, and being all they can be. They may need to work 2 or 3 jobs to survive but they should be thankful because more work will build their characters so much.
I believe and I know you agree that Liberals are waging class warfare out of their economy ignorance…or is it willful deception? I'm told the Liberal media often reports on the alleged high salaries and luxurious lifestyles of our corporate leaders and at the same time they make a big deal out of a few workers getting “redundant” (I learnt that word from Tony Blair) and a few retired workers lose their health coverage, and they make it like its a problem that the top 1% of households own 40% of America's wealth. But we Republicans know that's exactly why the American economy is #1! Its needed to our economic health that only some people get very rich, because only they have the God-given wisdom to spend their money to really benefit the economy and do charity. We have them to thank for buying private jets and yachts and limos that keep thousands of people employed building and driving and repairing, and they hold their galas and gatherings that keep many thousands of people employed catering and making and dry cleaning designer clothes, and their mansions are furnished with all kinds of fancy furnishings and cleaned and landscaped, and all their chores and accounting and investing require an army of workers waiting on them too. Our economy can therefore only become healthier as the cream who rise to the top get more of the wealth. That's why my administration has made eliminating income and death taxes it's #1 priority, and for Americas and God's sake, our goal is the top 1% get 60% ownership of America's wealth. This certainly proves once and for all that a Bush administration has a program and a plan.
Also we didn't announce yet that we'll be answering your prayers by eliminating the evil of overtime. If there's work to be done then as Americans we need to just do it without whining like girliemen! Work is the best thing for mankind because it builds character, just look at me when my oil businesses were failing I'd be out in the fields drilling in the scorching sun and covered in grime from dawn to dusk and then I'd go to the office to sweep up, do the accounts, and create strategic business plans for another eight or ten hours seven days a week, and you sure didn't hear me whining.
Perfecting the Criminal Justice System
That brings us to the next realm I'll perfect, criminal justice. Liberals complain a lot about this system but their bogus, it has the name of “justice” so obviously its just and fair. Besides that I've studied this system in depth and I assure you it can be perfected so it doesn't need any public financing at all - indeed, under my administrations it will be the top dog engine of economic synergy! Namely, the people who created the need for the system, namely criminals, must be held accountable and made to pay all costs. Heres examples of what they'll be billed: arresting officer time, court time including judge salaries, prosecutor time, public defender time, jury time, drug tests, DNA tests, cell rent, food, toilet paper, medical care, etc etc. And it is only right that folks on death row dig their own graves before execution. I hear that some trials cost millions of dollars and I'm sure these expensive shows will be greatly reduced if criminals know they pay the cost if convicted. If they can't pay we'll given them the opportunity to work in prison for the appropriate hourly wage for as long as it takes. My next administration will indeed be the opportunity administration.
In my deep study of the criminal justice system, I discovered something all those Ph.Ds. never noticed, namely that prisons are America's best growth industry, creating fine productive jobs very fast and bringing good profits to key economy sectors like building construction, uniform making, private prison companies, closed circuit TV system makers, and many many more. Another great thing I found out about our prisons is it's a really cheap way to treat crazy people, at least maybe a third of prisoners are mentally ill and if they were all fully treated for that in clinics instead of prisons then our health system would be overburdened and in fiscal crisis. You see, it can only be a good thing to keep expanding the prison population as fast as possible.
My Department of Justice already has a wonderful plan to expand the war on drugs and especially deal with the dire threat to America's economy of marijuana. New hair and saliva testing methods will allow us to identify and deal with everyone who uses marijuana. Why is this important? Because we face disaster and crisis if people start thinking marijuana is benign compared to alcohol. If people started using marijuana instead of alcohol, there'd be a lot less murders, robberies, spouse and child abuse, car accidents, brawls etc etc and the all-important key sector of our economy, the prison system, would really suffer. Besides that, the world of sport could hardly survive without beer commercials, which as I wrote somewhere above can also inspire great thoughts, like my thoughts about how to perfect the electing system.
Knowing these true facts, I have a dream, a dream of making the US of A the world's leading exporter of prison technologies, training, and equipment, which would be an economic engine and it would also reverse some kind of trade deficit I heard we have with the rest of the world. Since there won't be any more corporate taxes to give relief from, we'll give plenty of subsidies to our friends in this sector. Hand in hand we'll use diplomats and military pressure on our trading partners to meet our world-class highest standard of putting away at least 1% of the people behind bars where they belong. Imagine, there are countries that put even less than 0.1% of the population in jail which is clearly an unfair trade practice because it eliminates 10 times what should be the business potential. If they refuse to take the right course, we will defeat them in a trade war. Period. My administrations will always be unwavering in the face of threats to the legitimate economic interests of the US of A.
Perfecting the Education System
Like criminal justice, public education eats up lots of taxes, so it must be converted to a user-pays system, relieving the elderly and the childless of a heavy burden. Part of the solution is to integrate the two systems. The next advance in No Child Left Behind education reform will say that “failing” schools will be converted directly to prisons, because kids who go to failing schools are the most likely to grow up to be criminals, addicts, and rap singers. This plan has many many benefits. It will save tremendously on building all the new prisons we need, boost the most dynamic sector of our economy, and also having prisons right in failing high crime neighborhoods will be both efficient and compassionate, since family members won't have to travel far to visit their inmate loved ones and prison jobs will be created for folks right where they live. Parents must take responsibility for their own children just like in the lost early days of the USA, so they will be required to pay all the tuition. This is the only sensible way to correct the terrible consequences of giving people their education for nothing, which makes parents dependent and apathetic. Once they put down their own money, you can be sure they'll make sure the schools and teachers are doing their jobs and students will learn more and more. Parents can always find a way to pay tuition for such an important thing as education if they really want to, but they can also choose to send their children to schools with work skills training programs (like assembling toys, soldering electronics, telemarketing, etc etc) where students will qualify for tuition waivers simply by learning and practicing their work skills every day.
Perfecting the Environment
Liberals never stop talking about the environment, so I studied it in great depth. Its obvious to any intelligent objective observer that the biggest threat to the environment is all the environment regulations. Here's why. When you use force against someone to make them do something against their will, they automatically resist and do it even more. Thats a fact of psychology. The solution is use reverse psychology by getting rid of environment regulations, then everyone will do their best to preserve the environment. Instead of government regulations, American citizens will have the opportunity to take personal responsibility. Corporate America will do it's share, for example they will get great new markets for a whole range of devices to measure pollution in air and water so citizens can avoid those places or they can measure bacteria contamination in food before they eat it so they can return it for a refund. And let me remind everyone that America is a free country, if they don't like the environment in one place they can always move somewhere else. You can rest assured that under this and all future Bush administrations, the God-given right of all Americans to live anywhere they want will never ever be compromised. Never.
A big problem with Liberals is they never think of the economy in their devious propaganda about the environment because they're ignorant of the fact that without an economy America would not be the great nation it is. Like for example they complain about mercury in the air and water and fish because they can damage the growing brain so people are more violent when they grow up, but they ignore that without violence we'd end up having fewer of those brave men in blue and the prison system would shrink, which as I explained earlier is a key engine of our economic current and future growth. Unlike Liberals, my administration will always consider the TOTAL picture as I hear about it from righteous people like you as long as you stay generous.
Another problem with Liberals is they revere evolution instead of Our Lord but they don't really understand how evolution works. Evolution is the survival of the fittest. If a specy is going extinct then that's how evolution works. But instead of letting evolution do its God-designed work Liberals if they had power would try to regulate evolution just like they want to regulate everyone to their bidding so they sacrifice our economy and condemn our future by their irrational support for loser girlieman species like snail dotters and sporty owls. The world is always changing so adapt or die. It's as simple as that, whether you're a species or a low-life loser always whining about not having health insurance.
Another thing the enviroNazis always whine about is how rapid population growth is hurting the environment all over the world. The answer is clear. In Genesis 1:26 God gives Man “dominion” over all living things and then He tells Adam and Eve “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it.” You can also rest assured that no Bush administration will ever oppose God's will to “fill the earth” by ever taking any action to reduce the rate of population growth. We Republicans support more population because then there are more workers to compete with each other to grow and make things for the lowest wages and the bigger the markets we can export to and reduce that trade deficit. Now that's real long-term planning for the long-term future.
Perfecting the Health System
Medical costs are skyrocketing, Medicare and Medicaid are going broke, and 45 million Americans lack health insurance. Of course we don't actually care as long as the work gets done, but our freedom-hating enemies will attack us on this so I've created a perfect solution that will hardly cost anything: we'll give everyone the opportunity to take responsibility for their own health. Our patriotic health insurance companies have it right in refusing to ensure people who are actually sick which they got due to their own bad choices. Once folks understand there are real consequences for their lifestyle choices, they'll start taking responsibility for their own health. That's how it was back in the days of the Founding Fathers, when everyone was self-reliant and could treat themselves. With this new internets technology Americans will be able to simply enter their symptoms into the websites of the pharmaceutical companies from the comfort of their own home if they have one and solutions will come back in seconds. No more hassles getting appointments and wasting time in waiting rooms because medicines will appear on the doorstep overnight, thanks to the efficiency of the delivery system once the US Postage Service is sold off. Compare this with what Liberals want, which is for everyone to have health insurance. That's Socialism pure and simple, and besides that when I read the Constitution I saw it doesn't say anything about any right to health insurance and never in the history of this nation has everyone had health insurance, and this is the greatest nation on Earth. You can't have it both ways, its as simple as that! You see, if you look at the facts like we Republicans, you see the truth of what I said above about survival of the fittest, folks without health care will all do their best to survive and those who survive will be the really tough ones so America will get stronger and stronger and actually need less and less health care. So you won't find anyone in my administration wasting a single neuron on this so-called health insurance problem except of course Karl Rove will be using his genius to make Americans believe we're hard at work on this hard work.
Perfecting War
Our US of A currently spends about as much on defense as the rest of world combined. I think its so crystal clear that only a Liberal could fail to understand that we have the greatest economy of all time because the defense industry is a huge part of our GDP. Therefore the more we spend on defense the stronger our economy. In view of 9/11 my goal is therefore to double defense spending to make sure that each and every terrorist in the world is matched by a war ship, fighter plane, tank, or ballistic missile aimed right at his heart. Take that!
Also now that I started erections of a fool-proved missile defense shield, we can be sure our enemies ceaselessly seek chinks in our armor. For example, experts at Halliburton tell me we're currently defenseless against underground tunnels. Human smugglers already use tunnels under the border from Mexico to smuggle humans. For all we know some ruthless evil country like North Korea are tunneling right this very minute to deliver nuclear warheads or chemicals against millions of innocent American children and fetuses. To fight this imminent growing threat we must immediately install an underground defense system of sensitive sensors every 100 yards (the length of an all-American football field) along our entire border and develop a new arsenal of tunnel-destroying weapons. This essential new defense initiative will synergize our economy by injecting billions of dollars of capital that will be used to create good paying high-technology jobs right on American soil and strengthen the bottom line of the patriotic American defense contractors. The benefits to civilians will be enormous too because farmers and gardeners, just for one example, will get to buy spin-off technology to detect and destroy vermin burrows. I can hardly wait to use it in Crawford where I work all day ranching when I'm there and then enjoy a cool lemonade with the common folks.
Perfecting Our Morals
As shining examples of high morals, it is our duty to make sure everyone else also follows the Bible. For example, I've heard that some women have what are called “spontaneous abortions”. Why would God make this happen to a woman? It's a challenge from God, because the Bible says abortion is evil. Will we make the right choice and keep His grace? Yes! Before Mr. Ashcroft resigned I made sure he had a law ready for Congress to make it a crime to discard any of these cute little fetuses, they must be taken to a obgyn and put back in where they belong until their ready to come out. Because a bedrock plank of my administration is “Save the Unborn.”
Perfecting the Rest of the World
Theirs been some criticism of how we're doing Iraq and the rest of foreign relations. However, I'm proud to say that so far my administration has been virtually error-free. All our plans worked almost to perfection to assure all the economic benefits of perpetual war. All the criticisms have been by people who don't grasp all the interconnectedness like me and my wonderful team of expert advisers. For example, in Afghanistan its no failure that war lords control most of the country and poppies are blooming everywhere. This can only be great for our great nation because it means terrorists can still get plenty of money through heroin and that means we need to keep pouring money into war and homeland security and the war on drugs to keep our key economy growth engines going strong. Iraq is even more fantastic success, making millions of Islam men want to fight us so this war will last as far as the eye can see, guaranteeing our prosperity for an entire gilded millennium or more.
Perfecting Science
A lot of everything I talked about perfecting above will be better and easier if we have good science. My definition of good science is that it produces answers that serve the people - especially you deserving Patriots and Rangers! But as far as I can tell science in this country is corrupted because Liberals like a lot of the results. And why not, most scientists are Liberals! That's why my budget cuts a hundred mil from basic science research conducted by these ingrates and puts it into Iraq where you and other patriots can get it easily without oversight. What we desperately need is to apply the business model to science too, which means that science has to be results-oriented. To make sure of that we'll establish a new Office of Science for Real Progress within the White House that will reward scientists who give the best results as determined by a special Presidential Panel appointed by me, and it will be bipartisan because it will have Zell Miller. The head of this new Office I will make to be Rush Limbaugh because he knows more in his little finger about things like global climate change than 10 of those big shot PhDicks.
Conclusion
All in all, out of compassion my administration has, is, and will be guaranteeing our prosperity for many years to come as our policies lead to wonderful expansion of jobs and profits in America's key war and prison and pharmaceutical sectors. Other sectors will be added to this list depending on contribution levels. A perfect example is the bankruptcy bill that was the first big legislative victory of my 2nd administration, which gives the banking industry great value for its money and teaches spendthrifts a good hard lesson they'll never forget and also at the same time makes sure that if YOU ever run into a cash flow problem you won't have to worry about losing your well-deserved assets. With your generous help we have thankfully checkmated the evil attempts of Liberals to impose their idiotic Socialism ideas like regulation, prevention, conservation, and health insurance for all which would only cripple us out of their ignorance of what makes economies strong and free. You probably noticed that I used the word “opportunity” many times because together we're creating the Opportunity Society! The Opportunity Society is specifically designed to build lots and lots of character. And finally, let this be known: Don't mess with Texas!
Here comes the SUN.
And it is about time.
June 12, 2005 another memo out of the UK.
Ministers were told of need for Gulf war ‘excuse’ It should be call “ the Madness of king george-gateâ€
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Here again
Here comes the SUN. And it is about time.
June 12, 2005 another memo out of the UK
Ministers were told of need for Gulf war ‘excuse’ It should be call “ the Madness of king george-gate”
Posted by not stupid at June 11, 2005 09:49 PMtruth is, I haven't enlisted in the military because I'm *afraid to die*. Duh!
Posted by skyler at June 11, 2005 10:33 PMSkyler; don’t be smart.
Bush is incapable to take pressure. He always had his way in life, AWOL all papers were shred, lost co, Daddy’s friends save his ass a few time while letting get away inside trading, trial never went to court, Daddy CIA. The stadium was left to the Texan people while he made a lot of money on the deal.
Since his 2nd stolen elections, his voice has taken a fatherly tone while he pushes his nuts ideology about the social security to profits the corporations. The more the pressure is on him, he will crack.
I think that his poodle Blair was not too happy and really saw king george for what he is for the first time. The English co did not have as much a bounty as Cheney’s Halliburton did. Like I heard said on Democracy Now, king offer to Africa what the congress had offer before and probably never send, less than 1% the GDP of America. Reason of the Bolivia was that the rights to gas and oils fields were probably sold by the World banks to the English and Spain, and the population wanted to take control of their energy, as Saddam as done in Iraq.
It is a real problem when you have nothing to eat. While we spend more money on weapons of mass destruction, the amount spend on arms could repairs all schools in America and have all under medicals
Blair who wanted to show himself a great leaders to offset his bungles in Iraq as he is suppose to get the reign on the European markets was probably responsible of the second memo. No inside information, but his looked at bush was really telling all, what, you traitor I’ll get you back.
Blair will not survive long in England. Mothers against the war are suing him.
Those High morals rights have always mentioned Clinton’s blowjobs and wanted to get a higher morality in the white house! I tell to those that a bj never killed anyone but in the name of GOD this president has kill by design more people.
When you look like an ape, walk like an ape, talk like one, with a secretary of states who looks more like an apes!
We are close to the planet of the apes. You thought it could not happen! Think again
Mr. or Ms. Vwoodhull (?) - Texas has to be messed with, as Texas is messing up the rest of our United States of America. Good to see that we have a lot of ticked off citizens out there, though - one of these days we'll figure out how to talk to each other, compromise, and govern fairly for all.
By the way, when a person, say our president bush, can't speak without smirking, that means he is covering something up - or outright lying.
Thank you, pessimist (turning optimist), for a moving essay of hope. Without that hope for a people acting to restore our country to sanity, the day-to-day events are truly overwhelmingly depressing.
I certainly feel better for having read and thought about the post.
Posted by JimPortlandOR at June 12, 2005 12:34 AMSkyler, you're right of course.
One of my Orange County (CA) Republican coworkers just sent me an email concerning Der Governator's attack upon the unionized state employees, saying that we have to stand up to him.
Calpers can't afford the pension and health benefits. It's going to implode. Then the taxpayers will have to bail it out.
Posted by muckdog at June 12, 2005 09:46 AMIt's going to implode. Then the taxpayers will have to bail it out.
You ARE talking about King George's Oil War Deficit, aren't you, muck?
Posted by pessimist at June 12, 2005 12:10 PMExcellent article Pessimist. Thanks for taking the time and energy to write it.
Posted by Judith at June 12, 2005 01:32 PM