I'm afraid the only treatment is weekly one-on-one sessions with Jim Bakker, which should be continued for three to four months.
If some progress is evident, connect an alligator clip (available from Radio Shack) to each ear, and the other end to a standard 120 VAC plug. Insert the plug in a wall outlet for 2-5 seconds, until your brain feels lightly toasted. Repeat as necessary.
Posted by tempus at January 9, 2006 10:30 AMDo you think Mr. Cheney's recent hospitalizaton is the result of God's punishing him for his meanness and criminality??
Posted by Carol Corbett at January 9, 2006 10:54 AMCarol, I do believe you're on to something!
Posted by iamcoyote at January 9, 2006 10:55 AMtempus, Didn't they take cheney in and hook some battery cables to the knobs on his neck and proclaim him better a few hours later?
Posted by bbtb at January 9, 2006 10:58 AMLet Robertson and his kind say what they really think, it's a real education for healthy people.
For others, help is available.
The more Prayer-for-pay Pat speaks, the stronger the opposition to the Pharisee Reich grows. Rational people stop and think, "fuck...anybody who supports what that guy supports must be full of shit!"
Keep talking, Pat. It warms my heart.
Posted by God Of War at January 9, 2006 11:32 AMbbtb: I think in Cheney's case, 'better' is a highly subjective term. Somewhat less than dead might be more applicable.
Posted by tempus at January 9, 2006 11:33 AMDo you think Mr. Cheney's recent hospitalizaton is the result of God's punishing him for his meanness and criminality??
Well, if Robertson's logic applies, he's being smitten for not being mean and criminal enough.
Posted by dj moonbat at January 9, 2006 11:47 AMWell, if Robertson's logic applies, he's being smitten for not being mean and criminal enough.
Personally I think it's because he loves his lesbian daughter.
Did I mention that Cheney's daughter is a lesbian?
Because she is.
A lesbian, that is.
Posted by John Edwards at January 9, 2006 11:51 AMPat Robertson is Gods punishment for the Tali-Evan-Fundie churches not fully accepting homosexuality as normal.
I’m sorry, but there’s no cure.
I must take exception with you, dear counselor. There is always a treatment. In this instance I would recommend Electro-Convulsive Therapy with the ECT machine set on parboil. When the patient drools like one of Pavlov's dogs after a "ding", and their eyes no longer converge on the same point in space, you will have successfully helped them become more like the normal neo-con religious type in the United States.
Posted by phidipides at January 9, 2006 11:56 AMPosted by John Edwards at January 9, 2006 11:51 AM
Has it been mentioned that you could go to jail for being a troll?
Posted by idiosynchronic at January 9, 2006 12:16 PMidiosynchronic,
Just a little humor my friend. Just a little humor.
Unless you think there's a problem with Cheney loving his les...er...differently-sexually-orientated daughter?
Perhaps someone should ask the good reverend Robertson if he thinks perhaps Cheney's health woes could be rooted in such divine discontent.
Apologies. Didn't intend the comment as a slight on Edwards. If I was gay...which I'm not...not that there's anything wrong with being gay...I'm just not...but if I were I'd put the moves on him for sure. What cute cheeks he has.
Posted by snark at January 9, 2006 12:27 PMHas it been mentioned that you could go to jail for being a troll?
But Mr. Edwards "signed" his message, which is okay.
Posted by dj moonbat at January 9, 2006 12:42 PMIts not enough that he and his pals "know" what Jesus really meant,but he's also apparently qualified to tell jews what to believe. Im starting to think Robertson falls into the clinical "charming/charismatic psychopath" category. Actually,not starting to think..
Posted by jondee at January 9, 2006 02:55 PMWe have a little church in our rather UPscale hood, and I've heard that people go in there and they don't come out. The kind of tabernacle Pat is pastoring, no doubt! I'm sure lefties aren't surprised. That the FCC hasn't chucked this MoFO off the TV is evidence enough that all TV is corrupt (which is why I'm so damn glad I don't indulge watching any shit on it). The union, AFTRA, Federation of Telivision and Radio Artists ought to do something. Many people are amazed that TV preachers are required to join this union; joining applies to ALL people facing a friggin' camera where money is raked in.
I saw on BuzzFlash Alito is going to sail in without any protest from Dems. I KNEW this would happen. Dems are fucked up!
Posted by Mal Feasance at January 9, 2006 03:09 PMPat left the Christian Church a long time ago. He is nothing but a political hack now, preaching the propaganda of the Bush Church of Destruction.
Pat's preaches the God of the old testament, not the new. He is obviously demented, and someone should see to it that he never gets on TV again with his message of hate. It is long overdue for the Evangelicals to stand up and speak out against Pat. They are being lumped in with the likes of Pat, and evidently, they don't like it.
The next step is to imprison anyone speaking out against the Bush.
Posted by Judith at January 9, 2006 03:27 PMWe know Pat and Jerry have tons of supporters(all that dough comes frm somewhere)yet unlike other right wing heros,we never seem to hear from thier supporters. I can only draw the conclusion that theyre primarily illiterate.
Posted by jondee at January 9, 2006 03:38 PMWell, if it isn't my favorite gang of Brokeback Mountaineers, hopelessly plugging away at their nonsense causes.
I go away for a few weeks, and come back, and here you guys are, still grinding the axe of hate.
Hate Hate Hate.
No wonder you've lost those of us in the vast middle. But keep on screeching and screaming. After all, it got Howard Dean elected, didn't it?
Posted by A Former Democrat at January 9, 2006 05:23 PMThere is no hope for these addicts. Pat has hijacked the Twelve Steps and re-written them to serve his purpose.
1. I admitted I was powerless over all of the people – so I manipulated God so that I could manage their lives.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than me could restore them to sanity; so I omit the true God from my sermons.
3. Made a decision to gain the will and the lives of my flock - overtaking the God of care as they once understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of everyone else and their checkbooks.
5. Admitted to God, to others, and to every human being the exact nature of the wrongs of anyone who has anything bad happen to them.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these characters with defects.
7. Without humility I asked Him to remove anyone with shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons that I would like to have harmed, and became willing to make harm come to them all.
9. Made direct threats to such people wherever possible, except when not to do so would limit injury them or others.
10. Continued to take inventory of everyone and their checkbooks and when they were wrong promptly admitted it and threatened them with the wrath of God.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve my contact with God, as I understood Him to do my will, praying only for His wrath and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had an un-spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, I tried to carry this message to the whole world, and to practice my un-principled powers in all other's affairs.
Hate Hate Hate... No wonder you've lost those of us in the vast middle. But keep on screeching and screaming. After all, it got Howard Dean elected, didn't it?
Dumbass,
You never were in the middle and as far as hate goes, you should know, your current party has used it as a campaign strategy for 40 years and counting.
Well, if it isn't my favorite gang of Brokeback Mountaineers, hopelessly plugging away at their nonsense causes.
I go away for a few weeks, and come back, and here you guys are, still grinding the axe of hate.
Hate Hate Hate.
No wonder you've lost those of us in the vast middle. But keep on screeching and screaming. After all, it got Howard Dean elected, didn't it?
Posted by A Former Democrat at January 9, 2006 05:23 PM
*****
You're on the extreme nazi fringe, you little rat fuck, and you're about to be pushed off the cliff.
I do fucking hate you and your kind, btw, and that's not a positive development for you.
Posted by God Of War at January 9, 2006 06:45 PM
I thought that Democrats were united in opposing the Jewish state anyways. Blaming Jews for all of the trouble in the middle-east.
And so much open hatred for Pat Robertson. What did he ever do to you to cause such emotional pain in you folks, or do you just hate all right wing preachers and christians? I also think he's way off on his opinion, Sharon is just old and out of shape everyone meets his maker someday. What gives with the hate? In the immortal words of Rodney; Can't we all just get along?
Posted by Caliman at January 9, 2006 07:22 PMWhat gives with the hate? In the immortal words of Rodney; Can't we all just get along?
You want to read real hate? Ask that question on Little Green Footballs and see how quickly you get real hate.
Thanks for the tip. I do have to say at first blush you folks are wound a little tighter than them. They have nicer posts, less profanity, more humor. You guys should try that, maybe you will get more posters and exposure. Their open thread had 600 posts.
Posted by caliman at January 9, 2006 08:05 PMWell, I guess if you call one liners with a link nicer posts with more humor you've got a point. Most of us are looking for a little bit more.
Posted by rlp at January 9, 2006 08:21 PMGood to know that all we have to do to please a self-appointed critic is to do things HIS (I assume) way.
If you don't like it here, caliman, you can go create your own site. Then you can do things your way and we won't bother you about them.
Posted by pessimist at January 10, 2006 03:16 AM"You guys should try that, maybe you will get more posters and exposure. Their open thread had 600 posts."
Caliman, bigger is not always better.
LOL!
Posted by pessimist at January 10, 2006 05:23 AM"Cant we all just get along?". Robertson and his amen corner basically believe(in a world already wired for destruction)that apocalypse in the Middle East would be a good thing because the big tribal warlord/ceo in the desert sky wishes it so. Now think for a moment about how much suffering has been caused through history by people that held similar beliefs. Check your mind at the door and vote Republican.
Posted by jondee at January 10, 2006 04:44 PM