Tuesday :: Jan 5, 2021

Adios, Left Coaster, Thank You

by paradox

In the weave of life and events it’s time for The Left Coaster to go dark, there was no blowup or cataclysmic event in the decision, just a plain acknowledgement this life event and evolution is over, necessary elements make it so.

Steve and Mary know how grateful I am to them both for the experience but naturally I will state it publicly here, thank you so much for everything.

I don’t know what kind of writer I’m going to be going forward. I only came back to political essays because Nancy Pelosi finally decided to fight for the Republic by impeaching Trump, if you’re just going to sit there while the Russians and the Republicans smash out the democracy and the country I’m not in your Party. Thankfully she and the Party have basically snapped out of it, so I stayed.

The Plan was to perform necessary duty to defeat Trump and then wander with my short fiction. I don’t think that’s going to hold, I like being a political essayist too much, even if I have to wallow in the filth of the Republican party. Likely I’ll keep being an essayist at Daily Kos, I don’t feel like setting up a domain just for me.

I have my fourth short story all ready to go, it’s decent, anyone in the Army would like it and I have an enduring character, but I just can’t get excited about it and spit it out. We shall see.

Sometimes I whimsically think about Substack, likely I’d only get my feelings hurt with 5 subscribers and nothing would come of it. Still, I wonder what my voice would be truly like out of the Daily Kos domain.

You’d think I’d be settled in with it by now but at 60 months after discovering the truth from two terrible secrets I am finally calming down from the towering uproar, hurt for life but seemingly still here. Anyone who has discovered a serious secret knows exactly what I’m talking about, all the past is new and fresh with a paradigm-shifting perspective, and I keep wondering what new alignments of life would bring. That terribly insidious background hum of knowledge that something is basely wrong has vanished, sometimes I can feel a settled peace so strongly I’m startled. Sometimes.

I’m also much better with my stomach/neurological problem, it worked out and then flared again before the election. I found and eliminated a trigger acid, I haven’t been sick in 76 days and I’m on way to a life with a real body again after 17 years of it being busted, I could be so very different at 730 days.

So very likely quite soon a political essay will appear at Daily Kos without The Left Coaster link header, it will be piercingly sad for a bit—omg the internet publishing dream sure died, Google and Facebook took all the money—but still all right. You’d be surprised at the many mornings I have to seriously summon the moxie and will to do it, it all seems so futile many days.

I remind myself writers have let me know they really care about my fierce defense of the little people. When Glenn Greenwald and I were still talking he let me know in certain circumstances I can summon English text of unique power and force. My cause and soul are real, I know perfectly well what it’s like to be persecuted for no reason, to be trapped in violence, to feel the bewilderment of aching shame just for being yourself.

I also know the United States of America has a shameful, disgraceful record of exploiting and using its little people for no good reason other than racism, greed and disgusting self-superiority, we see it in how Mitch McConnell ripped our economy and people with that half-assed rescue bill he and his traitor President came up with at the last second.

No, I’m not going to let that go, and perhaps if things feel correct and calm will continue with my short fiction journey. I could end up a well-paid Substack mofo, heh, right.

[waves] I am in lockdown in Santa Clara country, it’s a slow quiet day for me. I do so hope your day is well and in good health. Bye, Left Coaster.

paradox :: 4:20 AM :: Comments (2) :: Digg It!